From go-getter to receiver

Or – the gift of chronic fatigue.

About four months ago I lost something important, something you can’t really live without… my energy.

After an intense week at a conference – stricken with the flu! I wasn’t concerned, just did what always worked for me – took homeopathic remedies, essential oils and supplements to help rebuild the immune system.

Got better at first, but then the recovery stalled, and stalled… and stalled again. A month later I still couldn’t shake off the fatigue.

It took a phone call, from a good friend, to make me aware that I was burnt out – that I had, what some people call, ‘chronic fatigue’.

She should know, she’d had chronic fatigue for the last few years, and was now starting to come out it.

With her offer of support, and her assurance that it is possible to get through this, I finally let myself fall into the fatigue.

What happened subsequently was amazing: I really crashed, was more tired than I’d ever felt in my life.

A life of push-crash cycles had taken it’s toll.

All energy was gone. I could not move.

Had to completely switch off – even from thinking. Or at the very least, press the ‘pause’ button.

No longer  able to ‘go and get’, I thought that I might as well learn to receive – to go into my heart and be open to what existence showed me next.

Moving into uncharted territory – scary and exhilarating at the same time.

A turn around of many deeply ingrained beliefs about money, power, business, community, success, love, friendship…

The amazing thing was that when resting and trusting, I was happy. Beautiful things and people started coming towards me.

Slowly, slowly, after about a month I was getting better, a delicate journey of discovering new ways of being and doing business.

But, whenever I tried to do more than I was able to, I relapsed.

Luckily I knew how to respond. Rest.

From my experience I’d suggest that the key to recovery is:

Stop the intellect overriding messages from the body – start by being emotionally honest, both to yourself and to others.

Healing often comes from a direction we don’t expect, or have not yet considered.

A good friend, coach or therapist can help us, can point the way. The healing is in us all.

So if you resonate with what I say and do – and you feel the need for some help to find the healing in you, get in touch with me. I am back in the world – present and here for you.

Preeti xx

Can you heal yourself? Yes you can!

Frank Ansell

Frank is a Ngangkari, an Aboriginal healer.

He’d healed my knee after I’d hardly been able to walk on it for months.

A year or so later, and again I’ve been in pain for months – this time with my shoulder.

We meet.

I ask: “when you’ve got time I’d like some healing for my shoulder.”

“You can do it yourself” he retorts.

Startled, I look at him and think: “I’ve been trying to do this for months now, and I’m still in pain”

Then, like a lightning strike, it hits me and I say: “It’s not about that, I just take on other people’s stuff!”

I walk away and sit on a rock to reflect on what just happened.

It’s true – the pain happens when I take on other people’s pain. When I focus on letting that go – the pain disappears.

So, we can heal ourselves.

In fact, it’s the only way we can heal.

Because if we are not fully with it and willing to let go of unhelpful mental and emotional structures, the best practitioner’s work is limited.

I know, I know. It’s a controversial topic.

The movie ‘The Secret’,  the ‘Law of attraction’, and various ‘manifesting’ voices out there, are doing more damage than good.

Let’s look at it from another angle.

You’ve probably heard about the placebo effect. They say that about one third of people who take placebos while believing it’s real medication, improve.

Lambert’s pie: common factors in therapeutic success

Then there is the ‘Lambert’s Pie’, named after Michael Lambert, a leading figure in psychotherapy research. This chart can be found in ‘The Heart & Soul of Change: What works in Therapy’ by Duncan, Miller and Hubble. It is the most famous book on research into the effectiveness of therapy.

The funny thing is that a lot of mental health professionals use this chart to promote a ‘person-centred’ approach.

It is true – the relationship between client and therapist is more important than the technique used.

But when you look at the chart as a whole, more than half of a client’s improvement is in the client’s domain.

So, your involvement is essential, for any coaching or counselling you have, to be successful.

You might ask: “but how?”

It’s easy.

Take the first step and decide that you want to change.

Then come with an open mind and heart.

Committed to yourself.

I’ll help you define more specifically a good outcome for you – by asking a lot of questions.

There you go, you have a very large part in healing yourself.

And I am happy to help you with the rest.

Preeti

Freedom, Discipline – and Daily Practice

In my late 50’s I start to value structure – and discipline.

Being a free spirit, discipline is not one of my strengths, and growing up in Switzerland did not help, either.

By the time I was 23 I had to break out. Lifelong commitment was not on my list of things to do.

Instead, I went on a spiritual journey. Focused on consciousness.

Learnt a lot about myself.

Went where life took me – first to India, then all the way to Australia. A life of adventure – I fully intend to continue.

However there is a danger with so much freedom. A danger to do nothing. To be lazy.

Let me explain. Being free is not the same as aimless drifting.

With drifting, life becomes empty.

We need meaning and purpose to be able to live a happy and fulfilled life. To feel truly free

How do I maintain this? I’ve always maintained visions and goals – and I have achieved things.

That said, with discipline not being one of my strengths, I had to find other ways.

So, in the past when I wanted to achieve something I would create ridiculous external deadlines and pressure. It somehow worked, but over time was simply not sustainable.

So, the long-term solution is to create structure yourself, and learn self-discipline. Being free does not mean an absence of structure or discipline.

The key difference is that you choose the when and how.

To create, produce and achieve, you must have a certain level of discipline. Satisfaction and, dare I say, happiness will be the result.

So, in my late 50’s I am starting to value structure and discipline, and I would like to share with you what helps me to get there.

The key is to start with a daily practice.

For me, this is meditating first thing in the morning.

It doesn’t matter what you do, however. Other examples are cycling, walking, running, cleaning, cooking, writing, drawing,

The important thing is you focus on something that nourishes and sustains you first thing in the morning – and do it consciously.

It doesn’t matter what you do
Bring awareness to it
Be present with it
Do it with totality
Make it a habit
Set a timer
Make it your own
Adapt it to your own needs
It doesn’t matter how good you are

It really helps doing a practice every day – keep doing it until it becomes routine. They say, that if you do something consistently for 21 days, it becomes a habit.

The next step to is to create and follow a structure for the producing part of your day.

Need some help with creating this? Get in touch with me.

With Love
Preeti

Of Tony Abbott and Viktor Frankl

Dr Viktor Frankl

Tony Abbott has been the prime minister of Australia for a year now. What has happened in this time is scary:

  • Education funds for universities are cut
  • Carbon tax has been abolished and is refunded
  • Civil rights are lost in the so called war on terrorism

No, this email is not a political rant.

However… I am not so sure about you, but… I don’t like it:

  • When our kids can’t afford good education – after all they have to live on this planet after us
  • When brown coal is burnt for electricity while there is clean energy available
  • When the government changes the rules to allow them to look at my web browsing history and phone calls I make

It gets personal. It affects the quality of our lives.

So, what can we do about it?

We could start fighting it and join an activist group.

We could bitch and complain and then forget about it.

We could give up and go on anxiety medication.

Not good ingredients to live a happy and fulfilled life.

To me, they don’t sound the way to go.

However, sometimes the powers of the day are such, that we don’t have much control about what’s happening in our environment.

In comes Viktor Frankl.

His book, Man’s Search for Meaning, was a life changer for me.

Frankl survived the Holocaust in Auschwitz and other Nazi concentration camps.

Life can’t get worse than that.

And yet, he offers a way to find meaning and purpose.

He knows how – he’s found it in the most atrocious circumstances.

I highly recommend you read Victor Frankl’s book Man’s Search for Meaning. If you’re not a reader, you can also listen to an audio version.

It will transform your thinking.

If Frankl could stay free and keep his dignity in Auschwitz, so can we in the face of today’s world.

And… if you would like some help in your journey to meaning, purpose and inner freedom, I’m here, as always.

Preeti

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