Frank is a Ngangkari, an Aboriginal healer.
He’d healed my knee after I’d hardly been able to walk on it for months.
A year or so later, and again I’ve been in pain for months – this time with my shoulder.
I ask: “when you’ve got time I’d like some healing for my shoulder.”
“You can do it yourself” he retorts.
Startled, I look at him and think: “I’ve been trying to do this for months now, and I’m still in pain”
Then, like a lightning strike, it hits me and I say: “It’s not about that, I just take on other people’s stuff!”
I walk away and sit on a rock to reflect on what just happened.
It’s true – the pain happens when I take on other people’s pain. When I focus on letting that go – the pain disappears.
So, we can heal ourselves.
In fact, it’s the only way we can heal.
Because if we are not fully with it and willing to let go of unhelpful mental and emotional structures, the best practitioner’s work is limited.
I know, I know. It’s a controversial topic.
The movie ‘The Secret’, the ‘Law of attraction’, and various ‘manifesting’ voices out there, are doing more damage than good.
Let’s look at it from another angle.
You’ve probably heard about the placebo effect. They say that about one third of people who take placebos while believing it’s real medication, improve.
Then there is the ‘Lambert’s Pie’, named after Michael Lambert, a leading figure in psychotherapy research. This chart can be found in ‘The Heart & Soul of Change: What works in Therapy’ by Duncan, Miller and Hubble. It is the most famous book on research into the effectiveness of therapy.
The funny thing is that a lot of mental health professionals use this chart to promote a ‘person-centred’ approach.
It is true – the relationship between client and therapist is more important than the technique used.
But when you look at the chart as a whole, more than half of a client’s improvement is in the client’s domain.
So, your involvement is essential, for any coaching or counselling you have, to be successful.
You might ask: “but how?”
Take the first step and decide that you want to change.
Then come with an open mind and heart.
Committed to yourself.
I’ll help you define more specifically a good outcome for you – by asking a lot of questions.
There you go, you have a very large part in healing yourself.
And I am happy to help you with the rest.